ME
I was born in the northwoods of Wisconsin in the early 70’s. I grew up loving the woods, loving nature and spending time outside in God’s amazing creation whenever I could. My grandpa and several of my great uncles owned farms, so I say I grew up on the farm, even though my parents weren’t farmers. My mom and dad started a business together built on their love of the Wisconsin Northwoods, and have worked together successfully for almost 50 years. I have been blessed with a very strong family heritage of hard work, faith, Christian service and “family first.”
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
I accepted Jesus’ gift of salvation when I was 5 years old. I 
was always aware of God’s love and His presence in my life. I grew up in a very traditional Baptist church in Ogema- the small town I first called home- that was founded by my great-great grandparents and a group of Swedish immigrants in the 1880’s.
I was blessed to know all four of my grandparents. They were (and are) all strong spiritual influencers in my life. Many other people who loved the Lord and loved me were teachers, mentors and those who caused me to learn and grow in my faith. I’m sure I’ll be writing about some of these precious people in the future.
MY CALLING
When I was 11 years old, I dedicated my life to full-time Christian ministry. I remember the minister saying, “If you’re in the center of God’s will, you can be in the scariest place and be safe, but if you’re outside of the center of God’s will you can be in the safest place and be scared.” That night I prayed, God, please do whatever it takes to keep me in the center of your will. I surrender everything to you and I will do what you
want me to do and go where you want me to go.
This was very exciting to me, but I received very mixed feedback from the adults in my life. My mom, God bless her (I’m so thankful for this!), told me I could be anything I wanted to be and that if I felt God calling me, I should pursue His calling. From many others, however, I was told that a woman’s “lifetime of Christian ministry” meant being a good pastor’s wife or maybe a “spinster” missionary.
A real struggle in my young adult years was feeling that Call to ministry and knowing I was wired for leadership but belonging to a church where I was too young, too enthusiastic, too ouspoken, too emotional, too female and too many other things. Many people still believed a woman was to keep silent in church. This was in a small community where many women did not work outside the home or have jobs where they were leaders professionally, so I really struggled 
reconciling what I knew was burning inside of me with what I was being told and what I saw.
When I was 16 years old, I went on my first summer mission trip to Peru with Teen Mania Ministries. That was a life-changing summer in many ways! I was filled with the power of the Holy Spirit for the first time, and learned what it meant to serve the Lord in situations where only the power of His Spirit could be credited with the success.
People were saved, healed and delivered before my eyes. I saw women minister just as powerfully as the men, with boldness and conviction. I grew in my love for the people of Peru, and I knew that I would not be satisfied doing anything but missions for the rest of my life. At the end of the summer (I was 17 by then) I committed my life to missions, remembering the prayer I had prayed at 11 years old.
PLAN A
Right before I left for Peru, I had started dating ”the boy next door” who also happened to be “the boy across the church aisle.” I came home from Peru feeling 100% called to missions and knowing I needed to break up with this farmer because our future goals did not match up. The same evening that I was working up the courage to break up with him, he told me that he also felt called to missions. In my 17-year-old naiveté, I concluded that our future together must be God’s will if we were both called to missions. From that point on, I assumed I knew God’s will and just ran with it rather than being sensitive to His leading step by step along the way.
The Plan (that would be Pam’s plan) was to get married, attend Bible college together, hurry up and have babies in the US and then head for the mission field asap. I was young and impatient.
MY OWN FAMILY
So, Tim and I married when I was 18 and he was 23. Our firstborn, Nathaniel, came along when I was 20. He made everything that much more of a grand adventure- a quality of his personality even today. I remember being in Guatemala doing missions when he was less than 6 months old. Everyone was drawn to the blond-haired 
blue-eyed boy in the baby backpack. He literally grew up on the mission field and his sense of adventure and resilience is intact still today.
I’ll never forget one night sitting at our mission HQ listening to Frank Drown and David Osterhaus (missionaries who were “legendary” to us young newbies) reminisce. Dave had been a missionary pilot and he had some crazy adventurous memories. I can still see 9 year old Nate sitting at his feet just enthralled with each story “Uncle Dave” told. It was that night that he told me he wanted to be a missionary pilot and he has held to that goal ever since. He’s pursuing a career in Missionary Aviation right now.
Luke came along when I was 22. He brought another kind of adventure into our life- he was born with a congenital heart defect. In the first year of his life we faced two open heart surgeries (neither ended up happening) and many nights not knowing if Luke would make it through. In everything, God was so faithful to us. I will definitely be sharing more about this time in our lives in future blogs.
I had many special opportunities to bond with Luke as we stayed in the NICU. I find it very interesting (and wonderful!) that Luke’s constant, concerned and compassionate presence is a great comfort to me even today when there are crises.
To make a very long story short (again, lots of material for future blogging here), God healed Luke’s heart, but not in the way we would have expected. The physiology of Luke’s heart is still that of someone with congenital heart disease, but the miracle, the “only God can do this” type of miracle, is that Luke’s heart functions like a normal heart, despite the defects! Today he is a healthy, handsome, wonderful young man with his whole life ahead of him!
In the middle of that chapter of our lives came Victoria, our great surprise! I’ll spare you the details but there’s no way that girl should have come into this world, and yet, here she is- and no one who knows her can imagine this world
without her! Especially her husband, Aaron. They were married only ten months when Aaron, a Marine, was deployed overseas. If you think of it, please say a prayer for these two incredibly strong, faith-filled young people spending their “newlywed” years apart.
Victoria completed our family. She was our sunshine and her brothers adored her (I’m pretty sure they still do.) From the day she was born her sweet spirit and tender heart have been a blessing.
Once everyone was healthy, we were cleared to focus once again on our plan- missions!
MISSIONS!
I loved almo
st every minute of being a missionary. I was in my glory, doing what I knew I was created to do and doing it well, receiving positive feedback and kudos from those with whom we worked. God’s grace and His blessings were all over us in those years- such a wonderful time.
I taught Bible, English, Social Studies, Music,
Performing Arts, started more than one choir and acted as School Counselor at a few different Christian schools in Guatemala and Belize (not all at the same time, of course.) My kiddos thrived on the mission field and to this day speak so fondly of Central America. There are oh-so-many stories to share in future blogs!
Looking back, though, I realize that my husband was unhappy during a majority of our time doing missions. Over time on the mission field, he st
arted to withdraw from our marriage emotionally. I know that I was not faultless in this situation and I don’t want to make it sound like our marriage issues were one-sided. There were so many things about the differences in our personalities that neither one of us understood at that point.
HEARTBREAK
When we completed our assignment in Belize, we came back to the US and sought counseling. It was actually our Christian marriage counselor who brought up the concept of divorce. In my mind, because of my traditional upbringing, divorce had never been an option.
I did not agree to a divorce, but I did know that moving away from our small town (where everyone knew our business, our home church made us feel like failures, and family members were exerting too much influence) would be a healthy step.
In the end, Tim chose not to move with us, so with broken hearts, the kids and I moved to Milton, Wisconsin. I hadn’t given up on our marriage. Each time that Tim asked me not to file for divorce I told him that I still had hope for our marriage. The last time we had that conversation, I was served with divorce papers the next day.
HOPE AND A FUTURE
In the meantime I had been introduced to Craig Thomas by a mutual friend who knew of Craig’s background as a pastor who had left the ministry due to divorce. I was struggling with many questions and my belief that I would be unable to fulfill my call to missions as a divorced woman. This friend thought Craig might be able to give me some insight or counsel. By coincidence (or God’s hand) Craig didn’t live very far away from Milton and, once I was served with divorce papers, a friendship began to grow between us.
He would sometimes come over in the evenings after work and we would sit outside and talk for hours about our pasts and where we were in our lives presently. One evening a few months after we’d met, Craig said, “I know you’re not ready to think about another relationship yet, but when you are, I hope you’ll think about me.” It wasn’t long after that, that I started thinking, “What about Craig?” 🙂 We had started attending the same church, New Life Assembly of God in Janesville, and after going before the pastors and going through pre-marital counseling, we were married in October 2005.
BLISSFULLY BLENDED?
Craig gave me another son and daughter just as I shared my three kiddos with him. We became a family of seven. Today we’re a family of 15! Sometimes we were all together and sometimes Craig and I were completely kidless. We perfected the “7 people and a dog in a minivan for 12 hours” trip as we traveled back and forth from Pennsylvania where Brad and Katy lived with their mom.
I shared placement with Tim even though it was a difficult arrangement; I always felt I was missing half of my kids’ lives. It was not easy for any of us, but because we loved our children we did our best to work together with ex-spouses to ensure the emotional well-being of those we loved most. Our peaceful co-parenting with my ex-husband actually turned into a testimony for many who were going through divorce and saw the way we put our selfishness aside and worked together for the sake of our kids. Who says God can’t use anything for His glory?
NEW MINISTRY
In 2009, CrossPointe Community Church planted its second campus in Milton. We attended the first Sunday and we knew as soon as
we walked in the door that this was our new church home. We got involved in ministry at CrossPointe right away as we were identified as leaders because of our past experience and the undeniable call on both of our lives. Through the ministry of CrossPointe we were both able to throw off old weights of sin, judgment and deep hurts that had not healed. Craig and I became “lay pastors” in the Milton campus and enjoyed 6 years of ministry with many wonderful people.
In 2011 I had the privilege of making my dream job a reality. Through my consulting business I was working with the United Way, offering management training for faith communities. The president of the board of Milton Area Youth Center attended a training, and asked me to meet him and a few board members for coffee. I began as a consultant, creating the policy and procedure needed before MAYC opened. Six months later the board hired me as MAYC’s first official Executive Director.
Thus began four wonderful years of ministry to underserved middle-schoolers- not to mention grant writing, community outreach, fundraising and working with especially troubled students and their parents. Looking back, almost all of it 
was a joy. 🙂 The other thrill was starting a ministry from the ground up and developing it to the point of sustainability. This didn’t happen single-handedly; many awesome board members, volunteers, parents and community members- and most of all my family!- made it all possible. When Craig and I moved away from Milton I was able to hand a thriving MAYC over to people in whom I had full confidence.
During our time in Milton, God redeemed everything I felt I had lost: a loving marriage relationship; church ministry done individually, as a couple and as a family; professional fulfillment where all those awkward inclinations of leadership finally brought success in full-time ministry; and best of all- five awesome children who are now adults and living for the Lord.
It was difficult to leave Milton and its wonderful people and wonderful memories, but we felt the Lord calling us elsewhere…
TO BE CONTINUED