Tag: chronic illness

Hope, Compassion and the Beauty in the Between

pjt.psalm71.14@gmail.com

It sounds like the set up for a joke…

What do Hurricane Irma, turning 45, becoming a Grandma, dealing with chronic illness flare-up and undergoing major surgery all have in common???

I wish I had a better punch line.

They all played a part in me taking a 3-year hiatus from working on the vision God gave me.  

I’m not proud of it, friends. I considered glossing over it and continuing my blog as if the 3-year silence didn’t mean anything. But it did mean something. It marks a time in my life where I just didn’t have the capacity to continue the great adventure I had just begun.

Friends, the last 4 years have been HARD years. What I described above was the last 4 months of 2017. 2018 was a year of recovery- all I can say about that is, believe your doctor when they tell you how long your recovery from surgery is going to take. DON’T think you’re better or more resilient or more invincible than everyone else who has ever had that surgery. That is a lie straight from the pits of hell!

Thank goodness 2018 was a year of rest and recovery though, because our 2019 felt like another chapter out of the book of Job.

We went:

   from life-threatening pneumonia in January and February

      to breaking my foot and spraining my ankle in one graceful move in March

         to losing our dog in April

            to finding out our daughter was pregnant with twin girls in May

               to learning that one of our granddaughters wouldn’t survive past birth in June

                  to waiting and crying out to the Lord for healing in July and August

                     to our family living through the reality of that pregnancy and birth in September

                        to losing my dear sweet mother-in-love also in September

                           to multiple PA – FL trips during our granddaughter’s 6-week NICU stay in October

                              to being laid up for two weeks because my back went out in November

                                 to spraining my other ankle on Thanksgiving Day

                                    to finishing the year with a Christmas that only highlighted our

                                       brokenness and bereavement.

Man, we couldn’t wait for 2020 to roll around! Things could only get better from there, right? We all know the answer to that one. Well played, Covid- we didn’t even see you coming!

We all just lived through 2020, so I’m not even going to go there! Instead, I’ll go here…

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:21-26 NIV

God’s mercies are new every morning—

   yesterday morning, every morning last month and in all the months before that;

      tomorrow morning and every new tomorrow morning to come.

         Even in 2019 and 2020, because of His unfailing compassion,

            God showed mercy in a new way every day.

               He was my Portion- my Sustainer.

                  I was not consumed by it all, because I was consumed by my All in All.

THAT has been the Beauty in the Between in my life for the past 3 years.

This is where I did, and do, and will, find my hope.

So, let’s continue this journey together, because even though I’ve been silent here for 3 years, oh my Lord, do I have a lot to say! New things have popped up for me: a speaking ministry; more consulting; songwriting; a podcast and book in the works; and more to come! I can’t wait to share it all with you.

So I thank you for your patience and I invite you to continue with me in this journey as we search for— and find!— our Compassionate Savior. HE is the ultimate Beauty in the Between!

Onward Together!

Pamela

From Broken to Breakthrough… and the Beauty in the Between

pjt.psalm71.14@gmail.com1 Comment

 

 

Have you ever felt broken?

If I’m keeping it real, I’ll tell you that right now I feel like a clay pot that was hurled down a flight of stairs, or a china plate that was unceremoniously dropped.

The Christian community has started talking more about brokenness, and God’s purpose for our brokenness- which is wonderful. Churches are embracing the truth that we’re all broken and we all need Jesus. The phrase “beautifully broken” has even worked its way into “Christianese.”

 

  

 

But can I just tell you?

When I feel broken I feel the opposite of beautiful. I’m sure I don’t look beautiful either, sporting my ugly cry and my resting pout face.

Don’t get me wrong- I get the concept of beautifully broken, and most of the time I embrace that with all my mind and all my heart. But other times…

 

 

 

Sometimes brokenness comes upon us suddenly.

When we receive an unexpected, but dreaded, phone call or news from the doctor

When we find ourselves in a situation where we just don’t know what to do.

When people and relationships fail us

Has this ever happened to you?

 

Sometimes brokenness is our constant companion.

When we are grieving the loss of a loved one

When expectations are not reality

When it seems we just can’t let go of a deep heart wound.

 

Living with chronic illness is a constant reminder that my body is broken. Sometimes the reality of my pain and my limitations breaks my spirit too. Have you been there? Are you there now?

 

  

 

The only thing I can do when I reach maximum brokenness is remind myself of Psalm 34:18 and personalize it as I claim its promise:

The Lord is near to Pamela, the broken-hearted, and saves you, Pamela when you feel crushed in Spirit.

Have you ever done that? Taken a passage of scripture and personalized it? Read it as if God wrote it just for you? Because guess what? He did!

God wrote those verses just for you. He knew exactly when and how you would need to hear them when he inspired David or Isaiah or John or one of the other biblical authors to write it.

 

Isaiah 57:15 says: “A Message from God, whose name is Holy:

‘I live in the high and holy places,
    but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed,
And what I do is put new spirit in them,
    get them up and on their feet again.’

Verses 18 & 19 bring me even more hope:  

 ‘I decided to heal her, lead her, and comfort her,
    creating a new language of praise for the mourners.
Peace to the far-off, peace to the near-at-hand,’ says God—
    ‘and yes, I will heal them.’”

That, my friends is breakthrough!

 

  

 

If  you grasp these verses,

make them your own,

speak them as a declaration over your brokenness

and the things that make you feel broken,

then breakthrough is yours!

 

You may say, “but I don’t feel breakthrough. I don’t feel like an overcomer.”

And I would say, “Just keep declaring it!” There is divine power in the spoken word. 

This is more than a pep talk or a self-help daily affirmation.

This is speaking the very words of God over your life!

 

Hebrews 4:12-13 in The Message paraphrase tells us that

“His powerful Word is… cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it- no matter what.”

Another translation of Hebrews 4:12 says that God’s word is living and active.

 

  

 

So there’s your secret- and the Beauty in the Between- between the brokenness and the breakthrough.

Cry out to the Most High God, the God who is with us when we are our most broken-hearted and spirit-crushed. And then, with that same mouth, declare His promises from His word and make them your own. You can even pray that way:

 

God, thank you that you are close to me, (your name), when I feel low-spirited and spirit-crushed. I ask you to put a new spirit in me. Help me, (your name), to get up on my feet again. Heal me, Lord. Lead me and comfort me. I, (your name), eagerly await a new language of praise in my mouth. I, (your name), stand with you and declare peace over my life and over my circumstances.    

 

He will hear that prayer! Psalm 51:17 tells us that God will not despise a broken and repentant heart. So no matter what we’ve done, or what’s been done to us, the Lord leans down from Heaven to hear our prayers (Psalm 116:2 NLT). When we pray with a broken and repentant heart, asking the Lord to give us a new spirit and a new language of praise- now that’s a powerful prayer for breakthrough!